Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Psychology of a Real Man

The psychology of a real man is simple to define but much more complex to achieve or to live it out.

He is a man who lives on his own terms.

Or to put it another way he is not controlled by outside influences. Be that a woman, society, religion, government, parents, children, his pets, his penis, etc.

And yes, it fascinates me to observe a man being controlled by his children or his wife. How can either of them ever be happy?

There is a great comedy movie called "The Ugly Truth" about the difficulty of men and women understanding the dynamics of relating to one another.

What is so interesting about this comedy is how the male lead makes no excuses for being a man and attracts the inaccessible, female lead by being indifferent to her opinion of him. He totally shatters her protective wall against his neanderthal masculinity by unwavering confidence in his knowledge of relationship psychology.

In essence who ever cares less in a relationship controls the direction of that match.

Now don't get my wrong, I am not suggesting that we should not care or be insensitive to others feelings and needs, but that we men should not show how much we care if we want to initially win the affections of an attractive, successful, independent, intelligent, professional, good looking woman who has a lot of men chasing her, and ultimately open the opportunity of a long lasting marital relationship.

Why? Because she has a lot of men chasing her and trying to impress her with the same dumb questions and proposals on a daily basis. Therefore she has to be very selective and have an effective system at sorting out all the options.

So what attracts a woman to a man? Initially, in a public place, ignore her. Women are like horses, they spook easily. Stand out from the crowd by not looking at them.

The inner qualities in a man that are often unconscious to him, are a powerful communication to her, that women pick up on immediately in his body language and are for most men completely unknown. A complete list of inner qualities may be the subject of a future post but for now; Strength, physically and emotionally, unwavering cocky confidence and attitude, leadership(have a plan and stick to it), communication skills(especially the soft, slow spoken, deep voice whispered into her ear and the ability to listen to her!), mysteriousness(or being unpredictable), comedy(simply put: women love to laugh), playfulness(all women are players, so have fun!) and of course financial stability and thus the money to provide support for a family someday.

I don't care what women say, looks are not that important. It doesn't hurt, but it is at the bottom of her checklist of qualifications. On the other hand, cleanliness, good grooming, quality cologne and nice clothes are a plus, but you guys will be surprised at the effect fine shoes and cowboy boots have in getting her attention.

For a man, looks are at the top of the list. After that, what she can do for him sexually with that good looking body. And at the bottom of his list; companionship, and unfortunately, men are often lonely and seeking companionship, but should never admit it because it is interpreted as a weakness from the woman's standpoint.

Men are simple, women are complicated. That is how we are wired.

And because men are simple minded they often fail to comprehend the complexities of the female psyche and fail to attract women and so do what most men do: chase women.

When will they learn? Chasing women causes them to run the other way.

When I ask women why they don't tell men what they really want in a man, I always get the same answer: "Because men aren't listening".

Most men are completely unaware that women are constantly testing them.

And aside from the body language evaluations that women do secretly, how can you tell if a woman is testing you?

Simple: Her lips are moving!

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