Men's and women's brains

The Psychology of a Real Man

The psychology of a real man is simple to define but much more complex to achieve or to live it out.

He is a man who lives on his own terms.

Or to put it another way he is not controlled by outside influences. Be that a woman, society, religion, government, parents, children, his pets, his penis, etc.

And yes, it fascinates me to observe a man being controlled by his children or his wife. How can either of them ever be happy?

There is a great comedy movie called "The Ugly Truth" about the difficulty of men and women understanding the dynamics of relating to one another.

What is so interesting about this comedy is how the male lead makes no excuses for being a man and attracts the inaccessible, female lead by being indifferent to her opinion of him. He totally shatters her protective wall against his neanderthal masculinity by unwavering confidence in his knowledge of relationship psychology.

In essence who ever cares less in a relationship controls the direction of that match.

Now don't get my wrong, I am not suggesting that we should not care or be insensitive to others feelings and needs, but that we men should not show how much we care if we want to initially win the affections of an attractive, successful, independent, intelligent, professional, good looking woman who has a lot of men chasing her, and ultimately open the opportunity of a long lasting marital relationship.

Why? Because she has a lot of men chasing her and trying to impress her with the same dumb questions and proposals on a daily basis. Therefore she has to be very selective and have an effective system at sorting out all the options.

So what attracts a woman to a man? Initially, in a public place, ignore her. Women are like horses, they spook easily. Stand out from the crowd by not looking at them.

The inner qualities in a man that are often unconscious to him, are a powerful communication to her, that women pick up on immediately in his body language and are for most men completely unknown. A complete list of inner qualities may be the subject of a future post but for now; Strength, physically and emotionally, unwavering cocky confidence and attitude, leadership(have a plan and stick to it), communication skills(especially the soft, slow spoken, deep voice whispered into her ear and the ability to listen to her!), mysteriousness(or being unpredictable), comedy(simply put: women love to laugh), playfulness(all women are players, so have fun!) and of course financial stability and thus the money to provide support for a family someday.

I don't care what women say, looks are not that important. It doesn't hurt, but it is at the bottom of her checklist of qualifications. On the other hand, cleanliness, good grooming, quality cologne and nice clothes are a plus, but you guys will be surprised at the effect fine shoes and cowboy boots have in getting her attention.

For a man, looks are at the top of the list. After that, what she can do for him sexually with that good looking body. And at the bottom of his list; companionship, and unfortunately, men are often lonely and seeking companionship, but should never admit it because it is interpreted as a weakness from the woman's standpoint.

Men are simple, women are complicated. That is how we are wired.

And because men are simple minded they often fail to comprehend the complexities of the female psyche and fail to attract women and so do what most men do: chase women.

When will they learn? Chasing women causes them to run the other way.

When I ask women why they don't tell men what they really want in a man, I always get the same answer: "Because men aren't listening".

Most men are completely unaware that women are constantly testing them.

And aside from the body language evaluations that women do secretly, how can you tell if a woman is testing you?

Simple: Her lips are moving!

Will The Real Men, Please Stand Up?

This past weekend my friend, editor, and co-producer, Danny Allen and I went to the Blue Moon Saloon in Lafayette for the Grammy send off music and dance party. As usual we enjoyed the intelligent, light hearted conversation that is often hard to find in night life business establishments.

The very first lady to approach me and engage conversation opened by complimenting me on my long curly hair and reached out and stroked it.

I thanked her and moved on to get a beer. Later in the evening we exchanged glances and I reached out and complimented her long straight blond hair and jokingly advised her it was too bad I wasn't into blonds. She seemed shocked at first and then out of nowhere shocked me by proposing that she could see I was a real man. If you are wondering who I am, the first link here takes you to my swamp tour site, and the second to my Louisiana swamp tour blog.

She was with a date so I didn't pursue the opportunity to present the question that came to mind. How did she know?

It reminded me of the first time I heard a women comment that I was the only real man she had ever met. That happened about 15 years ago when my girlfriend from Belgium shared her observation and reverence of my masculinity with me.

It always catches me off guard when a lady expresses that kind of compliment because it appears that most women are convinced that there are no real men in the modern world we live in.

I don't blame them for being so cynical. Most men I know are self serving, insensitive, exploitative and unprotective of femininity.

Of course, I will be harshly judged for admitting I prefer younger women, even half my age, but here is why I prefer younger women. They are not as burdened by the bitterness so many women my age carry against men in general. And at 54(my age) to have women friends in their twenties, who trust me and value my friendship is refreshing and fun.

I hope to influence young men to realize almost everything they believe and have been taught by the good old boy network is not attracting women to them and is in large part responsible for their lack of female companionship.

Below is a product description of a new book by Eric Ludy, Titled: God's Gift To Women.

Deep within the rugged soul of every young man, there is a warrior in search of his sword and a poet in search of his pen. But heroic, prince-like masculinity is something most women only dream of in today's perverse and self-serving world. With contagious passion and boldness, Eric Ludy challenges you to forsake modern male mediocrity for Christ-built, warrior-poet manhood--manhood that will capture the heart of a woman and change the course of history.

Here is a link to purchase the book: Gods' Gift to Women

5 star review by a 20-year-old girl:
"The Secrets to Winning a Woman's Heart", November 30, 2003
By Gretchen Acheson
I'm a 20-year-old girl, but as an avid reader of Eric and Leslie Ludy's other books, I wanted to see what Eric had to say in "God's Gift to Women." I just finished reading it, and all I can say is, "Amen! Preach it, Eric!" If guys would take to heart what Eric says in this book, the world would be filled with happy women! I recommend that every guy read this book, and find the secret to winning a woman's heart (it's not flowers and chocolate, but those do help! :)). Eric did forget to mention one of the most key elements of being a warrior poet: opening the door for ladies, especially your mom and sister! Otherwise, he covered all the bases. So whether you haven't a clue at how to be tender to a woman, or you think you have it all figured out, you guys need to read this book. It will point you towards the path of becoming God's Gift to Women.

P.S. Girls, if you want to read this book, go right ahead! It's obviously geared towards guys, but I got a lot out of it as well. It helped me understand our "wild at heart" men a bit better, and gave me a vision of the kind of man I'm waiting for: a tender warrior poet.

Relating to Women

I am very fortunate as a swamp tour guide to meet interesting people from all over the world and create friendships through my business.

One of the most difficult aspects of developing relationships through my business is to know when to advance a business encounter into a friendly relationship. I'm sure many of my guest have appreciated my refering them to the little mom and pop restaurants that serve home cooking aroung Lafayette, but more so when we can meet for lunch after a tour or at Downtown Alive music concert on Fridays or at a festival after the tour.




A couple dancing Zydeco at the Blue Moon last week


A couple of weeks ago I did a swamp tour with a gorgeous young single lady from South Africa(not the woman in the picture above). Because she arrived via bus or train(I don't remember which) and did not have a ride to the tour, I picked her up at the Blue Moon Guest House before the tour and we had time to talk and get to know one another before departing on our adventure in the swamp.

Nell's Tour

A November sunset at Lake Martin

After the tour, we went back to the Blue Moon Guest House for the Cajun jam session and ate red beans, sausage, and rice which is served at every jam session on the back porch A.K.A. The Blue Moon Saloon.



What amazed me once again was that despite my age(54) being twice hers she was putting the make on me.

This was not due to alcohol(she wasn't drinking), or any special moves, pick up lines, or intentions on my part. She was attracted to me and made no effort to conceal this from me as she repeatedly rubbed her leg against mine under the bar. It was obvious to me, but not anyone else in the bar because she communicated leg to leg under the bar and no one could see what she was doing.

At first I thought it was a casual "accident", but after repeated brushes which I admit were pleasant and tempting I resolved to control myself and not indulge her advances beyond that point, because I don't like to involve myself with my female guests who are just passing through as tourists. I hope I did not let her down too bad. I would hope she remembers me as a gentleman and servant.

Yet one cannot help but fantisize how memorable our encounter might have been if I had been drinking tequila!

In retrospect, I wonder if I was negligent to not flirt and tease and thus cause her attraction for me to grow. I am always torn between doing the honorable, gentlemanly thing and being the bad boy that women cannot resist! I must confess being the bad boy is more fun!




Even if we had spent a night together and then become close friends after becoming lovers, I prefer it the other way around.

The problem with becoming friends first is some women will always regard you as a friend if you do not know how to create anticipation and then take it to the next level after she is initially attracted to you.

It is pure magic to paly hard to get in a fun and flirty way.

Based upon my observations most young men today are trying to impress and relate to women from an antiquated social system based upon men's gross misunderstanding of feminine psychology.

We will get into female psycology more later on.



In the meantime, guys here is some good advise:

Instead of looking for the right woman, focus on becoming the right man, so when she gets there, you are ready!

Knowing how to dance Cajun and Zydeco helps when in Lafayette!

Not For Women Only!

This blog is dedicated to helping young men understand that chasing women causes them to run to other way. A real man, in my opinion, does not need to chase women because he attracts them. It amazes me how in my younger days, I never understood how my sense of humor, aloofness, confidence, mysteriousness and laissez faire attitude was responsible for attracting so many women.

I did not know what was attracting women to me because I was a naturally confident, comedic, free spirit, which does attract women, but really did not understand women at all.

A friend of mine recently labeled me a natural smart ass.

I had to agree and with a cute sexy grin to go with it. Of course, if I had to choose I would rather be a smart, rather than dumb ass.

So, I am sure many women will assume from the title of this blog that I am a self centered, self serving, ego maniac. Frankly, I don't care what they think, but hope to reach young men who are trying to figure out who they are as men, and share my perspective on what women truly want in a man.

And in a classical, yet modern form a man should be a protector and provider rather than an abuser and user of women.

Whether that be as a brother, son, lover, friend, and ultimately as a husband and provider/protector.

I will give a hint at where I am going with this: What women say they want is not necessarily what they feel.

I am hearing many women speak of the objective of feminism was not only to empower and liberate women, but also to help men be more understanding and
sensitive to the needs of women.

But it seems to have backfired as men became more sensitive and understanding and attempted to please women, the women seem to be not only disinterested and even hostile toward men, but outright disgusted and disrespectful.

Now I don't blame the women for this, because they know what they want is a real man.

I blame the men, but also have to admit that like me in my younger days, most men today are completely unaware of what attracts women to a man.